Janice Dickinson and Latin Men

Season three, episode one of The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency begins with a revelation about Janice herself. Janice is shown as the subject of a photoshoot and I all I can say is, wow! She looks amazing, not just physically, but also from her ability to portray so many classic images so beautifully. She isn't lying when she says that not one of her models can work it like she does it at a photoshoot. She really only needs a pack of male models and her. She could handle all the female assignments herself.

Janice's beauty was then followed by the inexplicably repetitive display of the frightening visage of Sean Ashby of Aussie Bum from season two. I have no idea why JDMA continues to show this terrible example of dental deformity, but if they do it again they should definitely precede it with a warning message that the following scene contains disturbing images. At least it reminds us that we should all boycott Aussie Bum. Janice supports us and we should show support for Janice.

If you recall the story from season two, after the A.B. debacle Jason Scarlatti (creative director of 2(x)ist) came to our heroine's aid (yay, Jason!). He hired two of Janice's male models, Dominic Figlio and J.P. Calderon for a 2(x)ist campaign. In the current episode Dominic and J.P go to the 2(x)ist New York offices to take more pictures. Jason notices that Dominic has a severely injured toe and insists that the photos would have to be cropped above the foot. This seems very strange. If Men's Fitness magazine can replace Andy Roddick's biceps with his thighs, surely Jason could use digital magic on Dominic's toe.


Before I go on I have to say that I can't write about Dominic. He's so beyond the ultimate in underwear modeling that anything I could put here would be totally irrelevant in light of that one and only fact about him. J.P. on the other hand, will be fun to write about because we can see that there's no longer even a hint of facade about him. He seems so nice, and kind, and genuine. He also fills out designer briefs quite well. The difference between the two models is that Dominic should be put on a pedestal in the city square as a piece of art while J.P should be taken home and cuddled as a body pillow.

The main focus of episode one is the introduction of a new client, VIP Latino magazine, and the search for Hispanic models by Janice to satisfy this client's needs. She conducts a open call to find models with the right (Hispanic) ancestry. Ignoring the fact that hiring someone based on ethnicity is patently offensive, the idea of seeing some hot Latin men strip down for a body review is certainly enticing. Unfortunately, during the open call sessions Janice managed to verbalize just about every Hispanic cultural stereotype possible. The only thing she left out was singing "I am the Frito Bandito" and "La Cucaracha".

We got our first look at Danny Nunez (at right), but it was just a look - no display of personality yet. He seems like a person with an alter-ego: gentle model by day, dirty sex machine at night. He's someone to keep an eye on, especially when we get to the nude shots. I hope this isn't incorrect to say, but I love Cubans. They're great for smoking.

We also got to see Christian Prelle. Nothing really to say about this yet, but the fact that we get to see this beauty naked requires that he be mentioned.

Finally, I'm not sure how I feel about Janice's human puppy, Sorin Mihalache. She makes him her bodyguard and comedy ensues. It's just that there is an air of being developmentally challenged about him, so I'm not sure if I am suppose to laugh or not.

Bring on Brian Kehoe!