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Monday, December 10, 2007

The Last Picture Show

Episode 10 of America's Most Smartest Model began, as the show usually does, with scenes from the previous episode and with that I was forced to think about the fact that Brett Novek, the endearing and entrancing breakout star of the show, would no longer be on it. I had been working through the symptoms of Brett withdrawal for a week already, so I was miffed at VH1 for that lack of sensitivity. They also played the line where Brett says, "Let the nice guy finish first, please." Well, at least I can feel good knowing that from a review of viewers' comments from across the web, in their hearts he did.

As the new scenes started, Andre is shown strutting through the house in his jackboots as the Anthem of the Russian Federation played in the background. (The tune always makes me think of Pet Shop Boys' "Go West".) He looked at the wall of models' photo and remarked that he couldn't believe he had taken down all of the x'd models "single-handedly". I believe this is good corroboration of what I have said before, which is that careful analysis will show (to anyone with an open mind) that Andre was more responsible for his alliance's departure than was VJ Logan. Andre confessed it - believe it.

He spoke to the pictures, giving parting comments. He couldn't remember who the orange woman was and I'm not surprised. Was she actually on the show? (I truthfully have no recollection of seeing her on it.) When he got to Angela's photo, he couldn't remember her name. For those of you wishing to expand your knowledge of trivia, the inability to remember the name of someone you know well can be caused by a condition known as nominal aphasia or dysnomia. I know this because I have this too. It can be very annoying to have to give a description of someone you know instead of their name to someone else because you brain can't locate the word.

Mary Alice StephensonOutside, Andre read the notice to Angela and VJ that they were all going on an overnight road trip to a mystery destination. The location was quickly apparent to the viewers when the mandatory shot of the Palm Springs wind turbines was displayed. The models arrived at another big house and found that they would be spending casual time that night with Mary Alice Stephenson. It is important to note that Andre admitted, as he was looking forward to the evening, that Mary Alice is a very caring person who is very attractive. That's something that should be obvious to even the most casual of viewers, but for those that needed the extra explanation, Andre provided it.

Angela, VJ, and Andre had drinks and dinner with Mary Alice, where they raced to the bottom in trying to convince MA which of them deserved the most sympathy for having a hard knock life. Mary Alice was polite in listening, but it seemed more like an audition for which deserved to be the subject of a telethon instead of being awarded the prestigious title of "Most Smartest Model". It got interesting again afterwards, when MA told the contestants that they would be doing a photo shoot the next day and then introduced them to five extra models who would be supporting them in the photos. Mary Alice left and all the models got better acquainted. VJ played the ladies man while Angela (surprise, surprise) started bragging on herself. She had to demonstrate to the extras that her runway walk was as good as she said, but her steps didn't look near as good as Kathy Griffin's imitation of Paris Hilton's walk (you know what I'm talking about).

VJ LoganThe next day the photoshoot prep started bright and early with the arrival of the crew. VJ came out for roll call dressed just in a towel. It's a good look for him. I'd like to see Fieldcrest do a runway show with VJ as the model. Unfortunately for him, when the shooting started he did a pastiche of Andre's grimaces, acting like a rock star. Oh, awful, nuff said. There are looks that VJ can do really well, and this wasn't one of them. His accompanying hair and makeup looked great (eyeliner on artisic men can be hot), but the poses were crap.

Andre on the other hand played to his strengths and did the limited set of characterizations that he knows he's good at. He's like an exceptional character actor who can make a good living playing only thugs. The question is whether it is better to be someone who can do a wide variety of roles well or someone who can play a niche role extraordinarily. For Andre on this day it was better to be the niche model and he won the competition handily. Angela, having played Rocker Posey, found out that she, and not her extras, was expendable and she was sent packing.

Andre and VJ returned to the main house, where they listened to Ben Stein read his cue cards, telling them that each of them as their final task would have to create and give a presentation on why they deserved to win. Van Jameson was uber confident about the challenge and Andre was not. While working with a professional on the creation of the presentation, Andre was at first worried but then he had the inspiration to call one or more unidentified people to help him. The episode ends with a "to be continued". Perhaps he gets a fellow AMSM model like Pickel to appear on his behalf?

VJ Logan

VJ ponders what sneakiness the snake Andre is planning.

In depth coverage and photos of -> America's Most Smartest Model.

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